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Summary: Rode out foreclosure, have a new single all to myself, great love/sex life (like won-the-lottery-like) and decent, abiding employment. Car choked it big time and will be junked soon. Feeling the bite of the tightened belt.

Missing: one cat (not deceased, abandoned owner). One cat remains, extra needy and annoying to make up for the loss. Also spare cash and private transportation.

Taking applications for: new girlfriend. Will consider new boyfriend too, but prefer applicant with breasts.






Now selling original paintings on Etsy [oedalis.etsy.com]

Check this out: *ProCritique offers insightful critiques spanning a wide range of artistic disciplines.







Haven't we seen this April Fool's joke before? C'mon peeps, you couldn't even give it the illusion of authenticity by providing a reason for the ban.






Now selling original paintings on Etsy [oedalis.etsy.com]

Check this out: *ProCritique offers insightful critiques spanning a wide range of artistic disciplines.







That's how I feel. I feel like there's something broken, or wedged awry, in me and I don't know how it got that way and I don't know how to fix it.
I feel crazy for no reason and with little provocation.
I feel depressed for no real reason and little provocation.
I feel like I can't reach those good emotions so easily anymore, like they're treasures lost beneath leagues of water and the swim there is just too much for me to reach.

And I feel sorry for the people that love me for having to deal with it but grateful when I manage to feel sane that they put up with it.

Ahhh this has become my journal to post in when I can't post what I'm posting about in my other journal

AND ON THAT NOTE... It is my right to judge my past experiences as I see fit. If I feel I've made mistakes--if I feel they were bad--that's my prerogative to label them thusly. I own my own damn past, I own my experience and refusing to judge my experiences and just treating them neutrally does not make me more enlightened. And yes, I have been untrue to myself in the past---it was never a conscious decision but rather a situation that snuck up on me gradually. I'm allowed to have regrets. Fuck you for implying otherwise.






Now selling original paintings on Etsy [oedalis.etsy.com]

Check this out: *ProCritique offers insightful critiques spanning a wide range of artistic disciplines.







I'm so bummed. I've found this amazing woman who blows my mind she is so powerful and independent and beautiful and intelligent and sensual and just all-around classy---AND I've found this amazing boy who is sweet and warmly eloquent and lovely and liberated and sexy and ALSO intelligent---AND they dig each other AND me---and I might lose it all because I'm stupid and care too much but not about the right things. Things I should know by now, mistakes I shouldn't make, I'm making them, people. Hand over the dunce cap.

I hope I can save this for myself.

Also cubecraft is awesome.

Update 2/3:
I am saved!






Now selling original paintings on Etsy [oedalis.etsy.com]

Check this out: *ProCritique offers insightful critiques spanning a wide range of artistic disciplines.







I should just stop posting journals of the moment. They don't stand up to months of absence.

I never used to post really personal shit here because I was already under scrutiny from providing volunteer service to dA and I don't need to catch crap in my journal.

But I don't need to worry about that anymore, so let's get with the dishing.

Since April (wow, that's a while ago now) I've gotten over my exes (for real this time, I'm totally happy as a single girl), gotten really broke, and got a car (I try not to drive this much---gas is still more than I can afford).

I'm also dating, have sex and generally getting out a lot more, thank gods. I moved into a great space downstairs from my old room and love the windows that line my room and the lime color I painted the walls (it's really not as startling as it sounds). I have yet to put my books away on their shelves.

I'm working on a commission for a friend to pretty up their tiny apartment that they don't see anyway because they work coma-inducing hours but at least they're making enough money to pay for it.

I dropped a lot of weight and by the time winter is in full swing, I'll be the skinniest I've ever been in my life....just in time to hide it with bulky clothes! Yay! But things are seriously in an upswing for me (except financially--it's always one thing that doesn't get in line isn't it...) and I feel pretty groovy about life now and for the forseeable future.






Now selling original paintings on Etsy [oedalis.etsy.com]